dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
