I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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