weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
