week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
