Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
