dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
