Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
