who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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