I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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