Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
