he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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