When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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