...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
