Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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