let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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