addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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