Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
