it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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