if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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