and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
