He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
