We're facebook friends in real life
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
