oh god the rape fog is back!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
