I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
