yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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