Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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