Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
