i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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