Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
