Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
