i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
