I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
