she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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