Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
