there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
