Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Randomize
