My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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