Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize