We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
