I seem to have left my pride at pride
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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