He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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