So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
