You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
time to smoke my breakfast
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
