what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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