The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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