tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
