He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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