Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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