Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
