Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
