so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
