What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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