At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
A+ Viking dick
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