I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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