Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
