She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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