btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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