talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
