We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
