Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
